囧样年华

最

近力荐的动画片《モノノ怪》。充满了华丽丽的画面。与其说画面，是仿造日本传统浮世绘，不如说是对欧洲19世界末nouveau的彻底描摹。虽然nouveau又在很大程度上受到日本浮世绘的影响。这样颠来倒去的轮回无疑是有好处的， 于是简单的故事有得以华丽丽地出场。深重的任务轮廓，斑斓杂乱的背景。尤其是主人公的侧影，深重而夸张的眼影，明明就是对nouveau海报人物的复制。

      突然笔记本里翻出很早以前抄的一首诗，布莱希特的《回忆玛丽安》第一节，再读一遍，再度令人愉悦地忧伤着：

     那是蓝色九月的一天，
　　我在一株李树的细长阴影下
　　静静搂着她， 我的情人是这样
　　苍白和沉默， 仿佛一个不逝的梦。
　　在我们头上，在夏天明亮的空中，
　　有一朵云，我的双眼久久凝望它，
　　它很白，很高，离我们很远，
　　当我抬起头，发现它不见了。

日子明朗得空荡荡的，人温柔地心碎，不需要复杂地描绘，忧愁浅淡地透明着....

不知道什么时候，一切忧郁，忧伤，忧愁....都成为一种让人眷顾的美，一种致命的诱惑....可以让一个人再也不是浮华尘世中的那个人 ....

之于布莱希特本人，我并没有好感，一个可以四处滥情的人，一个可以为政治写作的人，一个甚至传出可以在自己女人的作品上署上自己名字的人.....然而这首诗却留在了笔记本里，虽然我当时并不知道他是谁....

一个喜欢上浪子，肯定不是因为他的“浪”，而是因为他骨子里的沧桑....人人喜欢看坚强的人脆弱的一面，喜欢看成功的人落魄的一刻....如果一个貌似完美快乐的人，偶尔流露出些许隐藏的忧伤，或许是神秘而更加有魅力的...

说的难听，这是出于人类心理上的变态，说的好听，便是出于人心的悲悯。 引用ann.poter关于爱与恨的经典描述，来描述愉悦与忧伤。

happiness is taught,always by precepte. smile is not only expression but manner.

then sorrow,which no one mean to teach us,comes of itself.

it is true that if  u said u r happy, it may be received with doubt, for there are times u pretend to be when it is hard to believe.

say i am in sorrow, and the one spoken to believes it instantly,

once for all....

那天去看医生问一下眩晕的原因之后，总结了一句话，就是脑子进水了.... 于是决定彻底一点，回家把德昆西的《瘾君子自白》下载下来看。

竟然看得我一阵阵的鸡皮疙瘩 ， 对于一个“guilty , i do not acknowledge" 的“confession“，我能表达什么。 confession本意是在上帝面前的忏悔或者犯案录的口供，这里却成为了德爷对自己才华和自己奇迹般命运的炫耀。 一句长的不能再长而且又简单易懂的分句

---For my own part, without breach of truth or modesty, I may affirm that my life has been, on the whole, the life of a philosopher: from my birth I was made an intellectual creature, and intellectual in the highest sense my pursuits and pleasures have been, even from my schoolboy days.

看的我飙汗，狂汗，瀑布汗.... 文章中一再强调着druggist和philosopher的千丝万缕的联系，在第三章“pleasure"中强烈地爆发着，又在之后的两章“pain“中苟延残喘着。

除去那些长达几行不断的句子和那些华丽难懂的词藻，不断重复的“frailty", " occasioned","obtruding" 以及“moral"，似乎让我看到一个孱弱文人如何在自由思想和社会道德间痛苦地挣扎着，想正视却又无穷无尽地回避着。

对于毒品问题，德爷只能摆出一个“confession“ 的姿态，正如他不断提到的他只是在“narrative" 。 一个毫无内疚感情的“忏悔书”。

文章一开头，对于“decent drapery" 地比喻，却是很恰当地象征了一类人，一如德爷他自己，华丽而脆弱着。

至于文人们只适合生活在文人的世界里，因为别的容不下。 如果这个世界找不到，那就只能生活在自己的世界里。能帮助他们生活的，酒精，情色甚至毒品....无论如何都是上天的恩惠。

被noni用这种变态问卷点了名，哎，无奈阿.....先贴前半部分吧， praust十三岁时候做的题

1. What do u regard as the lowest depth of misery?

      The story ends up with your turning back in silence.

2. Where would you like to live?

       Once up the time, up the bank. The water glitters under the sun; two straight willows wander in the mourning of wind.

3. What is your idea of earthly happiness?

        Be happy with other ones’ happiness. 

4.  To what faults do you feel most indulgent ?

         Poor in judging person’s characteristic.

5.  Who are your favourite heroes of fiction?

          The one is mature and sober, does more and says less. He mustn’t be the first role of the fiction, but always appears in the critical of the story and vanish when the story ends.

 6. Who are your favourite characters in history?

           春秋战国的遂客们

 7．Who are your favourite heroines in real life?

            The one who insists in his faith until death, no matter its right or wrong

            The one never gives in to the destiny

8.      Who are your favourite heroines of fiction?

             The one understands her situation and position in the society or in the story, and does what she need to do or must to do.

              (wtf, in any fiction, there are full of women who are stupid but brave enough to take risk….yeah…that is how the story begins)

9.      your favourite musician ?

               monet

10.  the  quality you most admire in a man?

               volenti, sense and sensibility

11.  the quality you most admire in a woman?

                Confidence but humbler and gentleness

12.  who would you have liked to be?

                  Hmmm….actually, I wanna be a fairy with translucent wings….or ghost*&#$^?? It is even   better than human.

现在再贴他20岁时候做的题

13.      your most marked characteristic?

                    My appearance can not match my age.

                    My behaviour can not match personality.

                    May a kid for ever.

画完了。。。。原图比这个好看多了，就是实在太大了。。。发不上来

 kenzo, 罂粟，舒淇，红与黑

虽然，这张比较我的风格：